Gay: “If you want to love golf, play golf once a year.”



The Wall Street Journal’s Jason Gay says he is a “horrendous” golfer.  But unlike the rest of us, he doesn’t throw clubs, curse at himself (ex, “Tiger Woods, you suck!”), or spend extra time at the range, working to improve his swing.  Instead, to enjoy the game despite his ineptitude, Gay has adopted a simple philosophy:  “to love golf, just play once a year.”

Gay’s piece in today’s WSJ seems to be an ode to Larry David’s musings in last month’s New Yorker, and it’s almost equally as tongue-in-cheek and entertaining.

Among Gay’s notably hilarious observations:

“Years ago, I got the golf plague bad. I owned shiny irons and a carbon-fiber driver that looked like a Darth Vader gallstone. I putted in the corridor of my office—the worst office-jerk cliche. I met enthusiastic friends at 6:30 a.m. and schlepped out to New Jersey to play at drab suburban clubs happy to charge us $150 to hack their crowded turf. We would dodder around for hours, drink stale $9 beer, lose $50 worth of balls, and then sit in tunnel traffic for another sixty minutes. It was just as magical as it sounds.”


“A civilian golfer obsesses about the transition from embarrassing to mediocre, and after that, the leap from mediocre to acceptable. (It takes 60 years, and no one gets good without at least three divorces.) If you play once a year, you do not preoccupy yourself with such ambitions. The game becomes about modest goals. Driving one ball straight. Avoiding windows, trucks, and trucks carrying windows. Not getting laughed at by birds. ”

The entire column is worth a read:




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